Years before we met, I was this tough girl who knows only laughing, having a good time with her barkada, prioritizing her studies, spending her nights training…with no desire of loving and being loved back because of the bitterness I’ve had with the guy before you.
The guy before you, the man I have first seriously loved, was sweet, caring, comfortable to be with, good-looking, and extremely clingy. He loved me and I was too foolish to have fallen for him too. I knew from the very start that when I decide to start loving someone, pain can’t be escaped. Being hurt? I was never too ready for that. But I can’t do anything about it. My heart chose him, my skin wanted to touch his, every finger of mine wanted both our hands together, both our palms touching as well, my arms wanted to hug his body, his scent lingers on me that i wanted to be closer to him, and his eyes were the liveliest to me.
But everything got so complicated that a bitch, a friend of mine, just had to ruin what we had. And in an instant, I lost him. The most painful thing was, I didn’t fight for him. I didn’t do anything to get him back. I let go of him… I let him walk away. I let the other girl have him. The thing I was afraid to happen, being hurt, happened. I was bitter, so bitter that I never talked to him for a year and same goes for the girl. He made efforts to take our friendship back, and for no reason, I opened the doors for him. Not for love, but for friendship. Just friendship. Once I turn my back on you, expect no return. If I leave, I leave…even if it pains me to death.
But now, we’re good as friends. I realized that there are some people in your life that was meant to be a lesson for you; that not everyone you love will love you back; that when you love, you should be ready for pain; and that sometimes, two people weren’t destined to be lovers but destined to be just good friends. We were mature enough to let all of those go. Both our apologies were accepted. Now, we’re fine. And yes, two past lovers can be friends again…but it takes time. We’re now both in college, I got his back and he’s got mine. He was always there to save me from the troubles I was in, and I’m thankful. Sometimes, we talk about what happened between us and we couldn’t dare not to laugh. We were kind of innocent, naive, and immature. Just letting our emotions get hold of us.
And then…you came. I’ve had lots of realizations. I realized what love truly is. It’s not just being sweet to each other; love won’t always be sweet to you; Love isn’t one sided; pain is inevitable. Love is when you BOTH give patience, accept all flaws and short-comings, fight for each other no matter what other people say, not hide her/him to anyone, love each other whether s/he sees or not sees it, love him/her more during a crisis of affection, never leave him/her especially when s/he needs you and the most important thing is, learn to accept the fact that you should be willing to be hurt because s/he is worth it.
Love can never be love without pain.
Love can never be love without sacrifice.
Love can never be love without surpassing temptations.
Love can never be love without the both of you.
There can never be an “I,” it should always be an “us”.
I love you.
I really do.
I am truly and deeply madly in love with You.